Autistic burnout: it's more than just being really tired

I'm back again and given my absence, I knew exactly what I needed to talk about. Autistic burnout. It's a bit different to the ordinary kind of burnout and it's also often mistaken for depression, but whilst it may appear similar, it's not quite either of these things. 

Burnout for neurotypical people is typically more work-related. They've worked themselves too hard and they're at a point of exhaustion. Autistic people reach burnout after they've been exposed to a lot of sensory or emotional input, too much masking or perhaps after meltdowns (which I'll explain in another post). 

Our battery is completely empty and during this time we may struggle with executive function (doing basic tasks such as eating, showering etc.) and communication, as some autistic people will totally lose their ability to communicate, or in my case I feel like my brain is clouded by a thick fog that I'm having to search through in order to get my thoughts out and even if I do manage to speak, then I'm stumbling over my words and not phrasing things in a way that others can understand. 

As I'm sure you can imagine, burnout sucks. I've had it twice recently and both times I've felt both insanely exhausted, but also really frustrated with myself because I want to be able to do things and to communicate what's going on but it's like my brain has just shut down. 

The problem is, the symptoms of burnout and the symptoms of depression are very similar but they have different solutions. Depression is normally associated with a low mood that makes you want to withdraw. This withdrawal isn't particularly a good thing and so people will tell you to get out, have some fresh air, socialise, be active and these things tend to be quite helpful. Another key characteristic of depression is that it typically lasts for a longer period of time. 

Burnout is also linked to withdrawal and a loss of interest in things you normally enjoy, but it doesn't always come with the low mood and you wouldn't resolve it by being super active and socialising with people. 

In fact, it's quite the opposite, as burnout is caused by too much emotional or sensory input and the body needs to rest and process all of this information. It's like a slow computer and when you try to do too many things at once it just freezes and shuts down. 

To recover from burnout, it's important for us to take time to ourselves, engage in our special interests, only see a few close people, limit sensory input by wearing headphones or sunglasses and REST. 

Despite this, it's obviously very hard for autistic people to manage during burnout and sometimes a little bit of help from those around us goes a long way. So how can you help an autistic person who is going through burnout? It's different for each individual but here are some things that I find helpful:

•  Ask very basic and easy questions with yes or no answers or give us options to choose from. For example, instead of "what would you like to eat?" you can say "would you prefer something hot or cold?" "would you like a ham sandwich or cheese?"

• Help out with basic tasks that we're finding it hard to do. It may seem really easy to you and that's why a lot of neurotypical people may mistake it for laziness, but even brushing our hair can be extremely difficult and exhausting. Just by offering to make the bed, prepare some food, helping us into the shower, you're taking a huge weight off of our mind.

• Just silently being there for us. Most of the time when I'm burnt out I'm finding it hard to communicate as normal, either because I don't want to or I can't. Limiting unnecessary conversation and just sitting quietly with someone can be really comforting because you know that they're there for you but you don't have to feel the pressure of trying to make conversation.

• Being patient. You might not hear from that autistic person for days, months or even years. They might seem that they don't want to do anything to help themselves, they might not want to talk to you or they might come across as blunt. These things are all a part of the burnout and most of the time we really can't control it, otherwise we would. Please just be patient with us and know that it's only temporary. 

Every autistic person is unique and experiences burnout in a different way, but by just following their lead and listening to them, you can help to ease the difficulty of burnout. 

I'm still finding it a bit hard to express exactly what I want to say, so this perhaps isn't my longest blog post but nevertheless, I wanted to speak on this subject, if anything so that other autistic people know that they're not alone and to let neurotypical people know how they can help.